No next time
by Tsunade Senju Uchiha
Summary: AU/Because love is stronger than death and pain... what you make me feel is an explosion of emotions. Your love is like art.
1. Pilot

**Hey, people, thanks for visiting my new fic. You know, english is my second language, so sorry for mistakes, and if I have any, let me know in a review.**

**DISCLAIMER: Characters used in this story belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

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><p>He walked through the halls of the university with shining eyes, as every time he saw him. They were like the desert and the pole, one was warm, the other was cold. One was blond with bright sky color eyes, the other had black hair like the night and darker eyes that may exist. One of them was outrageous and talkative, the other quiet and peaceful. Certainly, they were not alike. He had long tried to draw uselessly his attention, and had been neglected. But all trace of hatred toward the deep-eyed boy disappeared the day he confessed his love, the day he said he loved him, and the reason for his cold and distanced attitude was <em>protection<em>.

Deidara had not understood what he meant with protection, but the only answer he got was _"I could not help myself anymore__"_ and did not care more. No, now all that mattered was that Itachi loved him, and better yet, he always had. Although he declared he hated the oldest one, he had to admit that he was simply feeling ignored, worthless, useless... that were his feelings when Itachi seemed not to appreciate him. The reason was simple, the dark-haired totally fascinated him.

They had already a week of relationship, Itachi simply stroked him for hours, enjoying the sight of his angelic face, memorizing every faction of it. He knew his time was short, that he would die soon, and that was why he wanted Deidara to hate him... he couldn't see him suffer when his time came. But he changed his mind and confessed his feelings when he realized that he wasn't achieving his objective... Deidara suffered anyway.

He decided to fulfill both's wishes, let the bright light called Deidara illuminate his dark world, give himself a chance to be happy, and let Deidara be happy too... even if it was for a short period of time, he decided to give him that benefit. He wouldn't tell him about his illness, that would only stain of concern and pain the beautiful moments they were experiencing. He wanted to enjoy the life he had left.

_No next time._

Those words drilled his mind when he saw him there, approaching to him with clear and bright eyes, smiling happily.

"Deidara..." he whispered with some nostalgia as the blond came toward him.

He noticed he was being watched steadily, but before he could open his mouth to say anything, he just pounced on him and kissed him. He did not mind the embarrassment of Deidara, or that all the students were looking at them, he only cared about the passion of that kiss. He loved him, loved him passionately, he loved every part of him, his immature, childish and impulsive attitude, the way he got angry, the way he smiled, even his walk... all. He had a crush on him since he realized that he was the light that illuminated his deadly and irregular path, a real bright angel that God sent to save him from the obscurity in which his being slowly sank.

He unleashed all that tension he had acumulated in that kiss full of worship... he couldn't help it, he had a strong urge to kiss him every time he saw him with his striking personality, and his own self-control wasn't enough. Those feelings he had for Deidara were too strong, uncontrollable and passionate. He needed him, even if he was only an immature child, he loved him. He loved him, he wished him, he craved him.

At the moment they separated to breath he hugged him with all his might. He tried not to think about it, but it was imposible not to feel that he didn't want to lose him. They had not lived enough together. Deidara was surprised, although Itachi had confessed his love for him, he had remained quite distant, more affectionate than anything. But now he hugged and kissed him like if it was the last time he would do it. What was going on?

"I-Itachi... let me breathe" his voice sounded drowned out by the effort.

The dark-haired realized what he was doing and broke the hug to return to his normal attitude. It was true, he wanted to enjoy with Deidara the little time he had left, but he didn't want to fill it with false hopes and illusions.

He walked into the classroom followed by the blond one, while he checked that the paper in his bag was still intact... feeling how Deidara was the candle that gave light and warm to his destroyed soul, the boy that kept him up, the one that avoid him to get depressed and let himself sank by pain.

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><p><strong>Well, if you read it all and you liked it, let me know. If you didn't read it because it was too bad, let me know too. I need you opinion, people.<strong>


	2. Torment

He felt dizzy. He had always been a responsible and highly intelligent student, but now he couldn't concentrate. He had to endure, in ten minutes the class would end. He felt that metallic taste filling his mouth and realized that he wouldn't hold. He cursed himself as he rosed suddenly from his seat and ran leaving the room, under the watchful gaze of the teacher and his classmates.

Hatake Kakashi, Literature Proffesor, said nothing. He was very perceptive, and he knew something was wrong. Itachi was not the kind of person who left the class running suddenly and without reason. He saw the bewilderment face of his students, but before they could start murmuring, he preferred to continue with the class.

"Well, then it was the Iliad," His voice was nonchalant as if nothing had happened.

"What the hell are you talking about, hn?" Deidara stood up and pointed at him angrily. He was completely disconcerted for Itachi's flight, and he saw that something was wrong. He was impulsive, but very intelligent.

"Do you want to continue with the class as if nothing? You bastard, hn! Didn't you tell us to worry about our comrades above everything? Then put it into practice! Don't you see something happened to Itachi?" He shouted irritated.

All his classmates were silent and looked at him with some fear. He cursed himself internally for calling the teacher a bastard, he had again been driven by his impulses.

"Go for him," Kakashi replied with simplicity, surprising everyone. It was always the same, he just scared them and then he reacted that way.

In another instance, Deidara would have been standing there without understanding the response of his teacher, but today there was no time for that. As soon as Kakashi spoke those words, he was already out of the room. He didn't know where Itachi could have approached, but the first response his mind gave him were the bathrooms. He went to the place as if he had wings on his feet and as soon as he reached it he almost pulled the door down.

He entered at once, and the first thing he saw was his boyfriend lying on the tile floor, with his hair covered with blood and panting, as if he had trouble breathing. For a moment he was paralized, but when he listened Itachi coughing, he reacted and knelt beside him.

"Itachi, hn!" Deidara grabbed his face, and fortunately discovered that his boyfriend was conscious.

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><p>His vision had become blurred, he had lost his leg strength and could not speak. He heard in the distance someone calling his name... that person sounded worried. Deidara. He felt his face was turned, and there he saw a yellow spot. He tried to articulate something, but it wasn't possible. He could only cough up blood again and again. The yellow spot was increasingly blurred, he no longer heard the cries, even in the distance. He just heard a buzzing, while everything turned white.<p>

The buzz was getting louder and louder, until he realized that his eyes were closed. He opened them slowly, hoping to discover himself in the bathroom floor, but he was wrong. It was actually a white room, but it wasn't a bath. He felt a slight pressure on his right knee, so with some effort he directed his eyes to the place and could glimpse Deidara. He was with his head resting on his legs, his hair scattered on the bed and breathing calmly. Deidara was asleep. And he was in the hospital, no doubt.

He reprimanded himself. Surely Deidara had discovered his illness. Demons. He ruined everything. A sigh was heard in the room and he could see, not very clearly, how Deidara's eyes slowly opened. Apparently the disease had advanced at once, it was supposed a long time to pass until there was a noticeable change in his visibility. However, he couldn't see as clear as before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" That question took him out of his thoughts, so he made an attempt to focus his eyes on the yellow spot. "You're a bastard, Itachi, hn. How long would you hide it? I thought you just trusted me! I trusted you, hn! I even loved you, damn it!

Deidara's voice was becoming each second more aggressive than the last one, and he felt as if a piece of his life collapsed. Still, he chose to remain in silence until the blond finished talking to speak.

"You know," He said coldly, making Deidara feel they were in the old times, when he was despised.

"Yes, I know, hn!" He took a white paper from his pocket and showed it to him. "By chance I found this! The stupid doctors didn't want to tell me anything, hn!"

He immediately recognized that paper. It was the envelope that he had kept jealously before going to school, taking care that no one could ever take it. And it had fallen into the wrong hands.

"Deidara...," Itachi started.

"You lied to me, hn!" He got up furious. "Know what? Forget about it, hn. I can see I'm not enough important for you to tell me the truth"

"I couldn't tell you, Deidara," He felt how his heart was broken gradually into pieces, as if it was a glass and Deidara had just thrown it hard to the ground. "It wasn't relevant"

"It wasn't relevant, hn! You are going to die Itachi, didn't you think I deserved to know?" He walked to the door, and before leaving, he said: "I can see you like to carry everything by yourself, good luck with that, hn. We're done."

Those words hurt him like never before. He had never felt so miserable and painful like in that moment. He'd made a mistake. Deidara was right, he should have tell him the truth. For some they were a couple, to put it all between the two. And he, in an attempt of not to burden Deidara with that, had committed one of the worst mistakes he could ever make. Ignore him, put him aside, lie to him, shatter his confidence...

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><p>At the moment he left Itachi's room he ran through the white halls of the hospital. He felt miserable, guilty and anguished. He shouldn't have told Itachi all that. He felt how his own tears blurred his vision, but he kept on running. What's done, it's done. There was no turning back, he'd hurt the feelings of the person who tried to protect him.<p>

Why on earth he had been carried away by his impulses? Now he had thrown it all away, EVERYTHING! Unbelievable. Itachi had carried the blame for something that had nothing to do with him... Of course Itachi wasn't the one to blame! But he'd blamed him anyway, he made him feel bad, he made him feel guilty... when all he wanted was to hug him and cry.

Now he wanted to go back, put on his knees and say sorry. But no, he wouldn't do it.

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><p><strong>Hey, correct my mistakes and tell me if you liked it please! I'll be waiting for your reviews.<strong>


	3. Truth

He looked at the empty hospital room before leaving. He had to find Deidara, there was no time to lose in a hospital where they couldn't cure him. The only cure for his disease was a transplant, but he was well down on the list of patients waiting for one. By the time his turn came he would be already dead. He walked through the white corridors of the hospital, lost in the depressive atmosphere that reigned there. Move to fresh air was a liberation. He felt the evening breeze caressed his face as he inhaled the sweet scent of flowers.

A car approached the place where he was standing, so he stepped forward and opened it to sit down.

"Bakuhatsu Street, please" He said coldly when he sat down.

The cab driver just nodded and started the car. The trip was eternal for Itachi, but finally the movement stopped in front of a white skyscraper. He handed the money to the driver and ran towards the building. He reached the front door, searched the name of his now ex-boyfriend on the board and pressed the button.

"Who is it, hn?" The voice sounded through the phone.

Itachi sighed. Deidara never asked who wanted to get in, he opened and that was it. When he felt everything was lost, the doorman opened him with a smile on his face. He already knew Itachi, that was surely the reason. Without even stopping to thank the guy, Itachi ran to the stairs. Although there were seven floors, he felt he was going faster than through the elevator. He arrived and stopped in front of a wooden door with the number 628 on it, but he just saw a black spot above the door. For a moment he hesitated between knocking the door or turn around and leave, but he finally decided himself and gave the wood a gentle but firm tap.

A few seconds later the door was opened, revealing a small figure. His vision was very poor, but he didn't need to be able to see to know in what situation the owner of that apartment was. He was wearing pijamas, a can of beer in one hand, his hair was completely messy and there were very pronounced shiners under his eyes. He was devastated.

"What do you want Itachi?" He spoke with a thick voice, slurring the words. Where was the hyperactive and always bright Deidara?

Itachi didn't answer, he just went into the apartment while the blond looked at him with some anger but not daring to throw him out. Deidara closed the door and sat on a sofa in the living room, imitating Itachi.

"Deidara" He locked his dark eyes on the blond's blue ones "How have you been?"

"My boyfriend has been lying to me this whole time. How do you think?" He answered sarcastically. However, Itachi was happy that he was still called "boyfriend".

"You look like an ass, Deidara" He locked eyes with him. "And you're definitely not of the ones who get depressed and withdraw into their homes"

Deidara sighed. Itachi was right, he wasn't being himself. But, how was he supposed to act in this situation? He wasn't in the mood neither to go to school, nor to throw fireworks... not even his art was a refuge for him now. Itachi had cancer. In both eyes. A chill ran through him. And what if Itachi died? And he had dismissed him!

"Thought you would protect me like that?" Itachi stared at him when he spoke those words. "Wrong, hn."

"I know, Deidara" Those words surprised de blonde one. Itachi was proud and lordly... "I know I hurt you... I didn't mean it"

"Mistakes are as big as their consequences, hn"

"You're right" Itachi sat by his side as he spoke. "You like fleeting, right? Then you should like our relationship. Just a week"

"A week?" The blonde swallowed. "You idiot, hn! Does that seem to you an appropiate way of announcing me your death?"

"I need a transplant that will never come" He locked eyes with him. "Deidara... let me enjoy the time I have left."

Deidara felt himself sinking into those eyes deep as wells, he wanted and loved that man. It was useless to deny it and deny Itachi that favor. He slowly brought his face closer to the dark-haired, felt his breath hit against his mouth, and fused their lips in a kiss.

Love, they couldn't deny it even if they wanted to. None of the two.

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><p><strong>Please tell me about my mistakes, thanks<strong>


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